Should I Become a Monk?

peterg#who@hotmail.com to advisegi9@gmail.com 

Hello Richard,

I am tired of Modern Day society with all of its rules, cynicism, fast food-culture and celebrity adoration.  

Should I just join an ashram and become a monk?

Sincerely,

Pete

Hello Pete,

If you can still have sex with girls in the Ashram I say do it.  

Knowing from personal experience from being in jail for tax evasion it’s really important to have frequent sex with girls who are alive. 

Also, if they make you shave your head to join their cult, just say no.  Hair is super important.  Almost as important as having sex with living girls.

-Snarfin

What should I watch on TV?

Hello Richard,

First of all, thanks for all the great advice over the years.  Your suggestions on how to bring back to life my cockerspaniel didn’t work but I appreciate you trying when no one else would.  Here is my question: all of my friends tell me I should watch “Game of Thrones” but I just don’t want to have to get into another show.  Should I do it?

-Ralph

Ralph,

I don’t know what “Game of Thrones” is but I think I found a way to bring your dead dog back to life.  Direct-Tweet me your phone number and I will call you back from a pay phone.

-Snarfin

Advise guy?

Hey Richard,

I heard you went to jail --?  Why the hell should I listen to anything you have to say?

-JorReeds_Gab

Hi Joe,

First, let me say that I understand your reluctance to take advice from a jail bird but let me tell you a story.  Here it goes: fuck you.  I learned that in prison.

Also, if you want to know how to fashion moonshine from No More Tears Shampoo, just drop me another message.

R.