Dear Mr. Snarfin,
This is soooo crazy! My friend Chuck lives in Chi-Town but my in-laws are from Rio. I'm so exicited and I want to be happy for my relatives cause they just got the Olympics but I don't want to upset Chuck because Chicago didn't get it. What do I do?
Dear Idiot,
Here is a fact you may not have considered when sending me your insipid question: one day everyone you know and love will be dead.
---Snarfin
