Sued Friend

mynameisbeth76xxxx@aol.com to advisegi9@gmail.com
Dear Mr. Snarfen,
This is Beth. My friend is suing me!!! And just because I didn't pay the last month's rent. I have a reason! I lost my job and had to move out.

What kind of friend sues her friend? Tell me.


First off, Jan, don't worry! I, myself have been sued 47 times.

Here's how you deal with it. First off, don't let anybody subpoena you. If they can't find you, you're innocent.

But if they do find you, don't show up to court. Listen, there's no law that says you have to appear in court.

Lastly, if you do go to court, bring in your own expert witnesses. I like to use the Mexicans I meet at the Office Depot off the freeway. They're generally pretty willing to offer their time for a little extra money.
---Snarfin

Olympic Friend

SallyCaruthers8xxxx@cox.net to advisegi9@gmail.com
Dear Mr. Snarfin,
This is soooo crazy! My friend Chuck lives in Chi-Town but my in-laws are from Rio. I'm so exicited and I want to be happy for my relatives cause they just got the Olympics but I don't want to upset Chuck because Chicago didn't get it. What do I do?


Dear Idiot,
Here is a fact you may not have considered when sending me your insipid question: one day everyone you know and love will be dead.
---Snarfin

Ticket Giving Friend

CrestfieldJohnxxxx@aol.com to advisegi9@gmail.com

Mr. Snarfin,
I’ve recently decided to retire from my position as a “Parking Enforcement Officer” for the city of Santa Monica after 36 years. My wife is thrilled! I had to prolong retirement 2 ½ years to battle Diabetes. Needless to say, it’s hasn’t been easy. What’s your best advice for enjoying what they call ‘The Golden Years’?
By “Parking Enforcement Officer” do you mean “METER MAID”? If so, I’m confident there’s a special place for you reserved in Hell.
---Snarfin