My Children Have Questions About Death

Dear Richard,

My 5-year-old has been asking a lot of questions about dying, such as what happens when you die, do you see God, how old are you when you die.

Is this normal for the age? I never experienced this with my older child. We have not had a recent death in the family that might trigger these questions.  I’m very concerned.

Concerned,

Jack

Hey Jack,

Nothing to worry about!  I had a lot of questions about death when I was a kid too and I turned out fine.  

Also, my parents used to make me sleep in the graveyard when I got mouthy.

Dead Serious,

Snarfin

I Hate My House Guests!

Hello Richard,

We have had houseguests for a week. They are (thankfully) leaving today. It’s my husband’s friend and his wife. I expected our place to be their crash pad, and that we would hang out in limited amounts. But instead they have wanted to hang out every evening after work.

I thought we made it clear when they planned their trip that we would be busy with work and would have limited time to hang out with them.  Am I being a bitch because I don’t want to spend my nights hanging out with this couple after a long day of work?

Confused,

Kathy

Howdy Kathy,

Be grateful that you have a job and a house to share with guests.  

I just got out of prison and now my black PO is breathing down my neck to accept the fry guy job down at Arby’s. 

I have a college education and yet the US government won’t let me have a checking account.  Also, I think I may have Diphtheria.

Sincerely,

Snarfin

iPhone or Android?

Dear Richard,

I don’t have any relationship issues.  

My question concerns technology

Could you recommend a smart phone for me?  

Would you buy an Android or an iPhone?  

I can see the benefits for both but I would like an informed opinion.

Thanks,

Beth

Hello Beth,

Good question.  But I would NEVER let an android make my phone calls.  

Call me old fashioned but I think there are some jobs better left to us humans.

Faithfully,

Snarfin

I'm Keeping a Secret From My Grammy

Dear Richard

My family has been keeping a secret from my grandmother. I have a 17-month-old daughter that she doesn’t know exists. I wanted to tell my grandma from the start about her great-granddaughter (her first), but I am afraid to. My family thinks that telling her will cause too much stress on her. No one in the family takes my feelings into consideration.

I think my grandmother should know she’s a great-grandma. The problem is, I don’t know how to tell her. She’s 90 years old. I’m afraid if I say something now, it really might be too stressful for her. Also, I’m afraid that if I reveal this secret, it will start a family feud.

Signed,

Emily

Dear Emily,

No worries.  

I took the liberty of telling your grandmother the big news.  (It was easy once I had your email address to find you on Facebook.  Then from there, all I had to do was a directory search.) 

By the way, you may want to call your grammy ASAP.  I think she’s mad at you.

Your welcome,

Snarfin

Too busy to Talk to Mom

Mr. Snarfin,

I’ve recently transferred college to purse my passion for Marine Biology.  My Mother bought me an iPad hoping it would keep us close, i.e. Facebook, Skype, etc.  but I’m too busy to be constantly talking to her.  How do I tell her that?

Thanks! ;)

Julie C.

Julie,

You’re probably smarter than I am but I think you know the answer.  Sell the iPad, take the money and buy an arsenal of alcohol.  Develop what will begin as a minor drinking problem.  This is sure to bring you two closer than ever.

Have a great semester,

Richard.