Dear Mr. Snarfin,
My friend Doug always wants to borrow my clothes. I used to say yes at first because I wanted to be a nice guy but he doesn't even ask anymore.
Instead he just takes whatever he wants from my closet. What should I do? I spend a lot of money on my clothes and I don't want him taking them.
Dear Steve or John (I can't remember who you are),
Do what I say in the following order:
1) Procure some liquid LSD (if you don't know where to find it just go to your nearest college campus and ask around, it should be a snap).
2) Apply the LSD to the inside of whatever sweater of yours Doug borrows the most.
After you send Doug on his first LSD trip he'll know not to mess with your clothes.
----Snarfin
That's so so mean.
ReplyDeleteWrong.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant advice, Snarfin. What if Joe (that's his name BTW) accidentally puts on his fave sweater, forgetting he laced it w/ acid? You're an idiot.
ReplyDelete