About Me

My photo
I am a licensed therapist with a thriving practice in Illinois. As a youth I didn't have any friends but as I got older I found ways to make people like me. Since then I have taken it upon myself to fix other peoples' friendship problems. I like to drive long distances in my car with no destination in mind, just until the gas runs out of my car. Afterwards, I will often abandon the car and walk home.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

(Dis)Loyal Friend?

ebellisxxxxxx@gmail.com to advisegi9@gmail.com
Dr. Snarfin,
I have lots of people I consider close friends but is there any way I can tell for sure if my friend is really loyal?



Yes! Here is the loyalty test I use. I call my buddy (Let's call him Lorenzo because it's P.C. even though honestly I have no Mexican friends) up in the middle of the night.

"Hola, Lorenzo," I say. "I accidentally killed my girlfriend by driving my car into the river. I got out alive because I am a good swimmer but she drowned. I don't think they can prosecute me if we move the body. Can you come dive in the river with me right now to find my girlfriend's body so we can bury it in a hidden cave?"

If Lorenzo immediately say yes to my plan I know I have a true bud for life. If Lorenzo questions any part of this scenario or is not on board with the cave-burying I make a note in my diary that reads:
"Lorenzo: Highly Suspect."

Hope that helps!
---Snarfin

No comments:

Post a Comment