Dr. Snarfin,
I have lots of people I consider close friends but is there any way I can tell for sure if my friend is really loyal?
Yes! Here is the loyalty test I use. I call my buddy (Let's call him Lorenzo because it's P.C. even though honestly I have no Mexican friends) up in the middle of the night.
"Hola, Lorenzo," I say. "I accidentally killed my girlfriend by driving my car into the river. I got out alive because I am a good swimmer but she drowned. I don't think they can prosecute me if we move the body. Can you come dive in the river with me right now to find my girlfriend's body so we can bury it in a hidden cave?"
If Lorenzo immediately say yes to my plan I know I have a true bud for life. If Lorenzo questions any part of this scenario or is not on board with the cave-burying I make a note in my diary that reads:
"Lorenzo: Highly Suspect."
Hope that helps!
---Snarfin
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