About Me

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I am a licensed therapist with a thriving practice in Illinois. As a youth I didn't have any friends but as I got older I found ways to make people like me. Since then I have taken it upon myself to fix other peoples' friendship problems. I like to drive long distances in my car with no destination in mind, just until the gas runs out of my car. Afterwards, I will often abandon the car and walk home.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Pen Pal Friend

Zackattackxx@aol.com to advisegi9@gmail.com

Hi Doc Snarfin,
I am a fifth grader named Zack. My teacher just assigned us pen pals. Mine's name is Gimbya and he lives in Nigeria. What kinds of things should I ask my new pen pal to make him my friend?

Hey Zack,
I never had a pen pal but I can pretty much guess how it works.

I'd say ask the usual kinds of important questions you ask anyone when trying to figure out if you want to be their friend: ask Gimbya how much money his parents make, where he summers, if he is straight, if so, how hot is his girlfriend?

You could also ask him to send pictures of his girlfriend if you think he is lying about her being hot.
---Snarfin
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5 comments:

  1. Ken D.October 14, 2009 at 2:50 PM

    Richard,
    You should be dragged into the streets and shot.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Denny VitoshenkoOctober 14, 2009 at 4:14 PM

    As a father of two young sons I don't find this advice very funny. Also, as a human being I don't find you to be a good person. I sincerely hope you do not give advice for our living.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Jane COctober 14, 2009 at 4:37 PM

    Cute kids in the pic

    ReplyDelete
  4. ZackOctober 15, 2009 at 12:00 PM

    I told my teacher what you told me to write my pen pal about and she said that those subjects were inappropriate. She also said I shouldn't follow your advice because you are a bad influence.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Richard SnarfinOctober 15, 2009 at 4:56 PM

    Your teacher is a jerk. Follow my advice.

    ReplyDelete

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